I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
