Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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