i think my mom watched the whole time
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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