fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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