I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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