Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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