Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
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this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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