I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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