can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
