Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
