Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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