Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
