Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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