Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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