Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
