I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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