so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
