I'm drive I can fine osifer
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
