It's like God shit irony all over that family
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
