Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

This is not my ceiling

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(541): View more from Oregon

Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."

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(514): View more from Quebec

i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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(936): View more from Texas

He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know

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(360): View more from Washington

The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off

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(562): View more from California

I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!

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(317): View more from Indiana

Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.

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(425): View more from Washington

My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"

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