sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
where are you?
Hypothermia
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
