I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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