hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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