guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
