reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Slut skills are useful in every country.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
