Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
