I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have feelings that need drinking.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
