fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
