i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
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Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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