we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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