I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
