well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize