I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
