I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
