his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
