I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
