Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Alive.
So much puke
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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