Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize