The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
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Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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