Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
