my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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