I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
