i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
