there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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