Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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