So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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