I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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