And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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