oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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