Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
