i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
