Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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