You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
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Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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