READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
