Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This is the high leading the old right now
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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