are you still at the devil's house?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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