there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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